"The Best Dinner In Years" joke
An elderly woman was enjoying a game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening when she suddenly exclaimed, "Oh, no! I must get home and fix dinner for my husband. He'll be so annoyed if it's not ready on time!"
When she got home, she realized she didn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she found in the cupboard was an egg, a wilted lettuce leaf and a can of cat food.
Panicking, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband pulled up.
She greeted him and watched in horror as he sat down to eat his dinner. Much to her surprise, he really enjoyed it. "Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in all our years of marriage. You can make this for me any time you wish."
Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish for dinner. When she told her bridge cronies about it, they were horrified. "Good grief," they exclaimed. "You're going to kill him!"
A few months later, her husband died.
The women were sitting around the table playing bridge when one of the cronies said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him cat food every week would do him in! How can you sit there so calmly and play bridge knowing that you murdered your husband?"
"I didn't kill him," the woman calmly replied. "He fell off the mantel while he was licking his butt!"
Not enough votes...