"The Bobbitt Hillbillies!" joke

Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies! Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies:

Here's a little story of a man named John A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone It seems one night after gettin' with the wife She lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife Pecker that is, Rodeoed, fillet food

Well, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side And Lorena's in the car taking willie for a ride She soon got tired of her purple headed friend And tossed him out the window as she rounded the bend Curve, that is Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "over there" To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air Found, that is By a fence, evidence

Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long So a d***-doc said "Hey, I can fix your d**g!" A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need Then the world held it's breath till they heard that John peed Whizzed, that is Stitched seam, straight stream

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short) They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape

Video, that is, Unexposed, case closed