"The Chemistry Set" joke
When a father came home, he asked his wife where their son was. She told him he was in the basement playing with his chemistry set. The father was curious, so he went downstairs to see what his son was doing. As he walked down the steps, he could hear a banging sound. When he got to the bottom, he saw his son pounding a nail into the wall.
"What are you doing, son?" the father asked. "I thought you were playing with your chemistry set. Why are you hammering a nail into the wall?"
"Oh, this isn't a nail, Dad, it's a worm," his son replied. "When I put these chemicals on it, it became as hard as a rock."
The father thought about it for a moment and said, "Tell you what, son, give me those chemicals and I'll give you a new Volkswagen."
Naturally, his son said, "Sure, why not."
The following day, his son went into the garage to see his new car. Parked in the garage was a brand new Mercedes. Just then, his father walked in so he asked him where his Volkswagen was.
"It's right there behind the Mercedes," replied his father. "Oh, by the way, the Mercedes is from your mother."
These two Polaks are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over more...
A woodshop teacher asks the only girl in the class what the difference is between a nail, a screw, and a bolt on the first day of school and she says "
Well, I can't rightly tell you since i ain't never been bolted."