"The Deaf Accountant" joke
Their was this man that was an accountant for the mob. He happened to be deaf and mute. While working for the mob he collected over 500,000 dollars by stealing from the books. The mob boss finds out about this and sends two hitmen to his house. Since the accountant was deaf and mute his brother translated what his brother said. Hitman 1: where is the money? Accountant signs he does not know Brother: he said he does not know Hitman 2: tell us where the money is or we will kill your wife and kids, burn down your house, and castrate you! Accountant signs fast and furiously that the money is in a safe that is hidden in the floor board of his closet and gives the combination. Hitman 1: what did he say? Brother: you don't have the balls!
Famous last words of a mafia hitman: "Who put the violin in the violin case?"
one english man discovered his wife was having an affair, overcome by rage he decided to kill her, so he went to a hitman named Artie, whom he met through a friend, Artie agreed to do the job for a pound (
Golfing Hitman
There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they are getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asks if he can join them. The friends look at each other and then look at the guy and say,' 'Sure.''
So they more...