Mute Jokes

A father takes his deaf mute son to the Godfather.....

Father: Godfather my boy is a good boy but he can't get a job because he's a deaf mute.

Godfather: I will give him a job as a bag man. He will pick up the money from my bookies and bring it back here. he doesn't have to talk to anybody. Two weeks go by and the Father is grabbed off the street brought to the

Godfathers office. His Son is sitting in a chair all beat up.

Godfather: $50,000.00 is missing, ask your Son where it is. The Father: turns to the boy and in sign language says...."What did you do? Where is the money? they are going to kill you!

Son: (in sign language) I don't know anything about the money

Father: Godfather my Son is a good boy. He says he didn't steal any money

Godfather: Pulls a gun from his drawer and lays it on the desk and says..."ask him again" The Father: (in sign language) This guy is serious, he's going to kill more...

Their was this man that was an accountant for the mob. He happened to be deaf and mute. While working for the mob he collected over 500,000 dollars by stealing from the books. The mob boss finds out about this and sends two hitmen to his house. Since the accountant was deaf and mute his brother translated what his brother said. Hitman 1: where is the money? Accountant signs he does not know Brother: he said he does not know Hitman 2: tell us where the money is or we will kill your wife and kids, burn down your house, and castrate you! Accountant signs fast and furiously that the money is in a safe that is hidden in the floor board of his closet and gives the combination. Hitman 1: what did he say? Brother: you don't have the balls!

August, 1998, Montevideo, UruguayPaolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Simphonica Mayor de Uruguay, in a misplaced moment of inspiration decided to make his own contribution to the cannon shots fired as part of the orchestra's performance of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture at an outdoor children's concert. In complete seriousness he placed a large, ignited firecracker, which was equivalent in strength to a quarter stick of dynamite, into his aluminum straight mute and then stuck the mute into the bell of his quite new Yamaha in-line double-valve bass trombone. Later, from his hospital bed he explained to a reporter through bandages on his mouth, "I thought that the bell of my trombone would shield me from the explosion and, instead, would focus the energy of the blast outward and away from me, propelling the mute high above the orchestra, like a rocket." However, Paolo was not up on his propulsion physics nor qualified to use high-powered artillery and in his haste to get more...

A man was about to tee off on the golf course when he felt a tap on his shoulder and a man handed him a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I play through, please?" The first man angrily gave the card back, and communicated that "No, he may NOT play through, and that his handicap did not give him such a right." The first man whacked the ball onto the green and left to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball, laying him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other holding up 4 fingers.

There was this man that was an accountant for the mob. He happened to be deaf and mute. While working for the mob he collected over 500, 000 dollars by stealing from the books.
The mob boss finds out about this and sends two hitmen to his house. Since the accountant was deaf and mute his brother translated what his brother said.
Hitman: where is the money?
Accountant signs he does not know
Brother: he said he does not know
Hitman: tell us where the money is or we will kill your wife and kids, burn down your house, and castrate you!
Accountant signs fast and furiously that the money is in a safe that is hidden in the floorboard of his closet and gives the combination.
Hitman: what did he say?
Brother: you don't have the balls!