Brass Jokes

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.
He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
It's not a gong. It's a talking clock", the drunk replied. A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup", replied the drunk.
How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch", the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet. What`s with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked. It`s not a gong. It`s a talking clock", the drunk replied. A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend. "Yup", replied the drunk. How`s it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it. "Watch", the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole! It`s three-fifteen in the morning!

A man, visiting San Francisco, noticed a musty curio shop, which seemed to be forgotten by time. It seemed very out of place in the busy city. The man’s curiosity was piqued, and he entered the shop. The store didn’t seem to have much traffic, and the shelves were full of dusty, but interesting items. The man found himself strangely interested in a rather ugly brass rat on a shelf behind the counter. Ugly it was, but he had never seen anything like it - it was so incredibly detailed, and life-like. He asked the shopkeeper for a price.

The man was pleased to learn that he could acquire the rat for only $5, and he handed the shopkeeper the money. But, before giving the man the rat, the shopkeeper sternly warned him, “This sale is final. If you leave the shop with the brass rat, I won’t take it back under any circumstances. ”

The man thought the warning was curious, given that the rat only cost $5. Even if he decided he hated the rat, that was hardly an more...

A man found a brass lamp, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.
"For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you any wish you desire," the genie said.
The man replied, "I want a spectacular job. A challenge that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try."
"Poof!" Said the genie. "You're a housewife."

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong."What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked."Why, that's my talking clock," the man replied."How does it work?" asked one of his friends."Watch this," the man said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "Hey !*#^$*@! It's 2 in the $&@!%&# morning!"