"The Flood" joke
One night a torrential downpour soaked South Louisiana. The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float all the way back to the house. It kept floating out, then back, out and back. Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see that baseball cap floating away from the house and then back again?" Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yes, that's my husband. I told him he was going to cut the grass today, come Hell or High Water!!"
I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.
Q:What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts cost a buck twenty-five. Deer nuts are under a buck!
Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"