"The Founding Fathers" joke
The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime in 1776, working on the constitution. It had been a long day.Father1: Whew! It's getting rather warm in here, isn't it?Father2: Shall I open the window?Father1: No, that's alright. I'll just take off my jacket, and roll up my sleeves.Father2: Hey, that's a good idea. Why don't we include that in the constitution?Father1: What? That we're allowed to take our jackets off and roll up our sleeves while at work?Father2: Yeah, but that doesn't sound very smooth. How about "Everyone shall have the right to bare arms?"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough.
The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. more...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.