"The Hypnotic Sermon!" joke
A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in thecollection plates each Sunday. Someone suggested to him thatperhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into givingmore."And just how would I go about doing that?" he asked."It is very simple. First you turn off the air conditioner so thatthe auditorium is warmer than usual. Then you preach in a monotonevoice. Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in aslow arc above the lectern and suggest they put 20 dollars in thecollection plate."So the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested, and lo andbehold, the plates were full of 20 dollar bills! Now, the preacherdid not want to take advantage of this technique each and everySunday. So therefore, he waited for a couple of weeks and then triedhis mass hypnosis again.Just as the last of the congregation was becoming mesmerized, thechain on the watch broke and the watch hit the lectern with a loudthud and springs and parts flew everywhere. "Crap!" exclaimed thepastor.It took them a week to clean up the church.
Not enough votes...