Plates Jokes

After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the more...

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal".
That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again he asked, "Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean"?
Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, " I told you those dishes are as clean as coldwater can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore".
Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, grandfather's dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass.
"Grandfather, your dog won't let me more...

Michigan's Secretary of State is under fire for recalling a "vanity" auto license plate that was deemed offensive.
The plate reads "4 RU486", a reference to the "French" abortion-inducing drug. Critics of the action point out that other vanity plates which could be considered offensive, such as CAL-GIRL, GSPOT, HORNY, HUMP, I124Q, JUGS and NADS, have not been recalled.
Then there's Theresa Watt; she's had her name on her plate for 20 years: TWATT.
A state spokeswoman said that 4 RU486 was recalled under the "illegal activity or substance" portion of the license plate law, but the critics retort that neither RU486 nor abortion is illegal. (AP)
... Nor is it illegal to be horny, to have a G-spot.

Some great license plates seen over the years or heard about...
IXLR8
On a nice looking Porsche
LK 2 FK
Seen by myself - a blonde in a white Mercedes
3M TA3
A friend of a friend had this one made up. Write the plate number down and hold it up to a mirror. I'm sure there are plenty you could get away with using this technique. This is great when the person in front of you looks in his/her mirror!

These plates are on forbidden list in the state of Virgina, USA.
Sexually Prodigious, Male:
ABIG14U
EJAQL8
GR8PNOS
MULEDK
9INDONG
WELHNG
Sexually Prodigious, Female:
AHOTBOX
EZ2GETN
MTYMUF
SGRPUSS
36DCUP
Gay:
AGAYLAY
BGAY
GAYRU
IMBI
SODOM
Sexually Adventurous:
AMUFDVR
BEVRETR
CLTNBLR
IB6UB9
DOU69TO
TUNGME
FEL80
BTFKR
Ornery:
ADIOSMF
AIM2KIL
DTFKWME
FAHCU2
FCOUGH
UPYABUM
If ya' can't figure these out... get a clue.
From Spy Magazine