"The Puttar" joke

I Am Writing This Letter Slow, Because I Know You Can't Read Fast. We Do Not Live Where We Did When You Left Home. Your Dad Read In The Paper That Most Accidents Happen 20 Miles From Your Home, So We Moved. I Wont Be Able To Send You The Address As The Last Sardar Who Stayed Here Took The Numbers With Them For Their Next House, So They Would Not Have To Change Their Address. This Place Is Really Nice. It Even Has A Washing Machine. I Am Not Sure It Works Too Well. Last Week I Put 3 Shirts, Pulled The Chain And Haven't Seen Them Since Then.

The Weather Here Isn't Too Bad. It Rained Only Twice Last Week. The First Time It Rained 3 Days, And The Second Time For 4 Days. The Coat You Wanted Me To Send You, Your Aunt Said It Would Be A Little Too Heavy To Send In The Mail With All The Buttons, So We Cut Them Off And Put Them In The Pocket. We Got Another Bill From The Funeral Home. It Said If We Don't Make The Last Payment On Grandma's Funeral, He Will Come Up Again. Your Father Has Another Job. He Has 500 Men Under Him. He Is Cutting Grass At The Cemetery.

Your Sister Had A Baby This Morning. I Haven't Found Out Whether It's A Girl Or A Boy, So I Don't Know Whether You Are An Aunt Or Uncle. Your Uncle Jatinder Fell In A Whisky Vat. Some Men Tried Pulling Him Out, But He Fought Them Off And Drowned. We Cremated Him And He Burned For Three Days. There Is Not Much More News This Time. Nothing Much Has Happened.

Lovemom.

P. S. I Was Going To Send You Some Money But The Envelope Was Already Sealed.

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