"The Real Confession" joke
A priest was in the confessional booth with a fairly long line of people waiting for their confession. The priest had to go to the bathroom something awful and couldn't hold it for another minute. Not wanting to upset all of the people in line, he frantically looked out the back door for another priest to help him out but there wasn't a priest to be found.
Suddently the janitor pushed his broom past the back of the booth and the priest grabbed him and said, "You just gotta help me out. I have to go to the bathroom and the line is so long.
"It's very simple", said the Priest. "There on the wall is a chart... column A lists the sins and column B lists the penance. Just find the sin on the chart and tell them what their penance is."
The janitor agreed that it sounded pretty simple and wanted to help the holy Father so he agreed to fill in for the priest in the booth while the priest hurried away to the bathroom.
The very next person in line entered the booth and began... "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It's been two weeks since my last confession. Last night I let my next door neighbor's wife give me a blow job. That's it, Father".
The janitor looked at the chart but got frantic when he couldn't find "blow job" anywhere on the chart. Panicking, he opened the back door to look for a priest but there was still not a priest to be found.
Suddenly, the altar boy walked by and the janitor grabbed him and stammered, "Quick, what does the father give for a blow job?"
"Two snickers and a Coke", replied the boy.
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