"The Results of Statistics Show..." joke

1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed.
2. All Polar Bears are left-handed.
3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar Bear.
1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles.
2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles.
3. Work stuffs up your eyesight.
1. A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second.
2. Ten babies are conceived around the world every second.
3. Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of becoming pregnant.

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