Polar Jokes

1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed
2. All polar bears are left-handed
3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear
1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles
2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles
3. Work stuffs up your eyesight
1. All dogs are animals
2. All cats are animals
3. Therefore, all dogs are cats
1. A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second
2. Ten babies are conceived around the world every second
3. Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of becoming pregnant

Q)what do you call a polar bear in the jungle?
A)lost!

All polar bears are left handed.
Ten percent of the human population is left handed.
In conclusion, ten percent of the human population are polar bears.
The pope is one.
I am one.
In conclusion, I must be the pope.

why dont polar bears eat penguins? because they cant take the wrapper off

A man, forced to live in an Eskimo village, is having a great deal of trouble interacting with the villagers. Finally, he corners one of them and asks why they are ignoring him.
The villager says that he has not been initiated as a man, so he asks what it is he must do in order to be initiated.
"First, you must drink two bottles of Russian Vodka," explains the villager. "You must then enter a cave and kill a polar bear with your bare hands. Finally, to seal your induction into manhood, you must make love with one of our women for eight hours straight."
The man agrees to carry out the requirements.
That night the villagers hold a big party to initiate him. Everyone sits around the fire and they pass him the first bottle of vodka. He drinks the first half of the bottle without too much trouble, but finds the second half a little more difficult. Finally, he finishes it and they hand him the second bottle. Somehow he manages to finish the second bottle more...