Bears Jokes

A Belgian met a Dutch friend, who was driving a Rolls Royce and spending money like water.
'How did you het so rich?' the Belgian asked.
'I went to Canada, to shoot bears. The fur coats are very expensive.'
'How do you go about shooting bears?'
'It's very simple. You should go there in winter. When you enter a cave you will find a bear. Since it is in hybernation, it is very easy to shoot it.'
Three months later they meet again. This time the Belgian is entirely wrapped in bandages.
'What has happened to you?'
'Well' the Belgian replies: 'I went to Canada, I entered a cave with my gun, and then suddenly... the train came'.

Polar bears in the Pittsburgh zoo received a $14 million domain renovation featuring a plush waterfall and running stream. Park officials expect a spike in ticket sales as well as a visit from Al Sharpton asking what the black bears got.

Sudan has found the British teacher who allowed students to name a teddy bear'Muhammad' guilty of insulting religion and inciting hatred against Islam, and has sentenced her to 15 days in jail and to deportation.

Upon hearing this news, people all over Sudan began naming teddy bears Muhammad.



While jurists in the free world mostly agreed with the Sudan verdict, they disagreed with the charges, saying that the teacher instead should have been convicted for insulting a teddy bear.

They argued that naming a bed of nails or a guillotine'Muhammad' is one thing, but warm and fuzzy objects such as teddy bears truly run contrary to Islam.

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"The woman says, "You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf."

The Three Bears returned one sunny sunday morning from a stroll in the woods to find the door of their little house open. Cautiously, they went inside. After a while, big Daddy Bear`s deep voice boomed out, "Someone`s been eating MY porridge!" Mummy Bear gave a yelp, "Someone`s been eating MY porridge!", she said. Little Baby Bear rushed in, "Forget the porridge - someone`s nicked the DVD player!"