"The Tao of Homer" joke

Feeling lost and adrift? Gain inner peace by learning the way of the Homer Simpson...
Here are some Homeric jewels to live by:
"The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of the bottle. They're on TV.
"What's the point of going out? We're just going to end up back here anyway."
"Trying is the first step toward failure."
"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on."
"Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?"
"The three little sentences that will get you through life. No. 1: Cover for me. No. 2: Oh, good idea, boss. No. 3: It was like that when I got here.

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