"The Trucker" joke
There was a trucker who hated lawyers so much that each time he saw one, he would turn off the road and hit him. One day he noticed the Pope standing at the side of the road next to a broken down car. The trucker pulled over and offered the Pope a ride.
As they were driving along, the trucker noticed a lawyer so he pulled off the road to hit him. Suddenly remembering the Pope was with him, he turned back onto the road but still heard a thump. The trucker said, "Oh no! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hit him."
"That's ok," replied the Pope. "I saw that you were going to miss him, so I got him with the door."
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough.
The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. more...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.