"The dilapidated wife!" joke
There was this married couple who showed up for their honeymoon at a fishing resort on the edge of a beautiful lake. They arrived very early in the morning after a long drive and the man immediately went out fishing alone in a rowboat.He returned just before dinner and then went out again until the sun fell. He then went to drink alone in the bar until midnight. The next morning, he awoke before five and was out again on the lake before the sun came up.This went on for three days. The manager of the hotel started wondering about the man and took him aside."What's wrong? Most newlyweds can't keep their hands off each other. But you hardly spend any time with her. You're always out on the lake fishing.""Yeah. I like women. But my wife, she has gonorrhea.""Oh! I understand. But still, a man has urges. And there are other ways, like...""Yeah. I've thought of having anal sex with her, but you know... she has diarrhea.""Ah, yes. I can see how that could be unsettling. But still, that's not the only way to...""Yeah. She could give me a blow job, but she has very sensitive gums... a common disease called piarhemia.""Wow! Can I ask you something, friend? Why did you marry this girl?""Well, she has gonorrhea, diarrhea, and piarhemia, but I love to fish and she has GREAT worms!"
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