"The dinner guest" joke
Maurice and Sadie invited Nigel, their gentile neighbour for a Passover dinner. The first course was served and Sadie said to Nigel, “This is matzoh ball soup.”
When Nigel saw the two large matzoh balls in the soup, he was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. But Maurice gently persuaded him to try it.
“Just have a taste. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to finish it, honestly.”
So Nigel has a taste. He digs his spoon in and picks up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup. He tastes it gingerly and finds he likes it very much. Quickly he finishes his plate.
“That was delicious”, says Nigel. “Can you eat any other part of the matzoh?”
Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.