"The guide to women" joke

A MAN`S GUIDE TO WHAT A WOMAN IS REALLY SAYING:

I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
.... without you in it.

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven`t had a fight in a while.

NO, PIZZA`S FINE.
.... you cheap slob!

I JUST DON`T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just don`t want you as a boyfriend now.

I DON`T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can`t believe you have nothing planned.

COME HERE.
My puppy does this, too.

I LIKE YOU, BUT...
I don`t like you.

YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.

I`LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I`m ready, but I`m going to make you wait because I know you will.

OH, NO, I`LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
I`m just being nice; there`s no way I`m going dutch.

OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!
Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.

I`M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
We`re gonna make fun of you and your friends.