"The man at the bar" joke
One day, a man went into a bar, looked at the barman and ordered a double whisky. He drank it quickly and ordered another one. The barman leaned over and asked him "Are you all right mate?" and then man put down his glass and said "No, I am bloody well not! I've had the worst day of my life!!" and the barman says "Tell me about it". So the man starts his story.
"It all began when I was round this womans house, and me and her were having sex. Then I hear this noise and its her goddamn husband!! So I panic, throw my clothes on, and I jump out the window, and hang on by my fingertips!!"
"Gee" says the Barman "Thats pretty bad"
"You haven't heard the half of it!!" said the man "Next, her husband jumps in bed with her, has sex with her, and when he's finished he tosses the condom out the window and it lands of my goddamn head!!"
"Woah" says the barman "I can see why you're annoyed"
"Thats not all of it!" exclaims the man "Next, he takes a piss out of the window, right on my goddamn head! Then he goes for a dump right on my bloody head!!"
"My god" the barman says "You really do have good reason to be annoyed!!"
"You haven't heard the worst thing" sighs the man "When I looked down I was two inches off the floor!!"
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