"The office happenings" joke

Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".

Quote from the Boss... "I didn`t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you."

A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves. A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired."

My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That`s because it`s unfamiliar territory.

My Boss said to me " What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.

My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain.

I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too. .. but at least I respect him.

He`s given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.

Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.

Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a task force he created to find a solution: " I`m sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!"

HR Manager to job candidate "I see you`ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you`re under-qualified for our entry level positions."

Quote from telephone inquiry "We`re only hiring one summer intern this year and we won`t start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss` daughter finishes her summer classes.