"The only person ever to outsmart Chuck..." joke

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.