"The palestinians took them!" joke
The Israeli Ambassador is sitting down with Yassir Arafat to try to work out a peace agreement. The Ambassador asks if he might first tell a story. Arafat tells him to go ahead.
The Ambassador begins.
"When Moses was in the desert for 40 years, the Jews got very thirsty and Moses asked God for water and there appeared a beautiful lake. The Jews first drank and then bathed themselves. Moses did the same when it was his turn, but when he came out of the water, all his clothes were gone. "Moses shouted, 'Where are my clothes? Who took them?"' "The Jews answered, 'The Palestinians took them.'"
Arafat quickly objected by saying that there were no Palestinians at that time.
he Ambassador looks at Arafat and says, "RIGHT!!! NOW we can begin to negotiate.
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...
Husband to wife: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!