"The redneck at the whorehouse" joke
A redneck has five bucks and is horny, so he thinks to himself, "Maybe I'll go to that whorehouse I've been hearin' so much 'bout." The redneck walks in, approaches a very burlesque, good-looking woman and says, "I've got 5 bucks, give me your best."
The man is immediately escorted to a room with a mirror, a couch, and a chicken in the corner. The woman shuts the door. The man reluctantly takes the chicken and finishes his business. He then realized that that was the best sex he'd ever had.
The following week, the man brings $10 of his hard earned money, and offers it to the woman. He is the whisked off in to a small room with a few benches and a double sided mirror. The small room quickly fills with men and women alike.
Two women walk into the room that the people are viewing. The two lesbians then proceed to make love on the table.
The redneck nudges the man next to him and exclaims, "Damn, for 10 bucks, this is damn good." The man then chuckles and says, "You should have been here last week, we had a man screwing a chicken."
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!