"The three nuns" joke

there were three nuns waiting at the gates of hevan.
St jhon who was standing there said this is the time to confess your sins and i promise you will be forgiven.
so the first nun walks up and says ive been dreadful, yesterday i robbed a bank, what should i do?
st jhon replied go drink from the holy water then i shall let you pass into hevan
so she went off
then the second nun walked up and said ive been terrible, i slept with a man last night, what shall i do?
go and drink from the holy water said jhon
then the final nun walked up and said ive been absoutly dreadful
what did you do, said jhon
i....er...peed in the holy water

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.4. Say, more...

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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