"The year’s best (actual) Headlines of 2002" joke

The year’s best (actual) Headlines of 2002
* Crack found on governor’s daughter
* Something went wrong in jet crash, expert says
* Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
* Iraqi head seeks arms
* Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
* Prostitutes appeal to Pope
* Panda mating fails; Veterinarian, takes over
* Teacher strikes idle kids
* Miners refuse to work after death
* Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
* War dims hope for peace
* If strike isn’t settled quickly, it may last awhile
* Cold wave linked to temperatures
* Enfield (London) couple slain; Police suspect homicide
* Red tape holds up new bridges
* Man struck by lighting faces battery charge
* New study of obesity looks for larger test group
* Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft
* Kids make nutrious snacks
* Chef throws his heart into helping feed needy
* Local high school dropouts cut in half
* Hospitals are sued by 7 foot doctors
* Typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead

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