"There was a very rich" joke
There was a very rich old Irish man who had a little dog. It meant the
world to him. When the dog died he went to the priest. "Father Murphy, my
little dog is dead. I'd sure appreciate it if ye'd say a public mass fer
'im."
"Sorry, Patrick," said the priest, "we don't say mass fer dogs 'n
the like. But you go on down there to the Protestant church. With their
progressive thinking, who knows what they'll do!"
Well, Father, I wouldn't
want to offend them. Do ya think a donation of a-hundred-thousand pounds
would be fitting fer such a service?" Patrick asked.
"Now, Patrick, why
didn't ye tell me that there little dog was Catholic in the first place?!"
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to more...
At a Mass at which some young ladies were to take their finals vows to become nuns, the Bishop presiding noticed two Rabbis enter the church just before the service began. They insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle. The Bishop wondered why they had come, but more...
Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?" In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam paper contained more...
What if Physicists wrote product disclaimers instead of lawyers?
______________
WARNING: This product warps space and time in its vicinity.
WARNING: This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the products of other more...
AMEN:
The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN:
1. Parish information, read only during the homily.
2. Catholic air conditioning.
3. Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR:
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the more...