"Things Movies Teach Us" joke

The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
At least one identical twin must be born evil.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.