"Things You Don't Want to Hear or Say in Bed" joke

Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

Got any penicillin?

When is this supposed to feel good?

You're good enough to do this for a living.

But everybody looks funny naked.

How long do you plan to be' almost there'?

Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

Have you ever considered liposuction?

But my cat always sleeps on the pillow!

Have you seen Fatal Attraction?

Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.

Did I mention the video camera?

My old boyfriend used to do it a LOT longer!

And to think-I was really trying to pick up your friend!

Hope you're looking as good when I'm sober.....

I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

You'll still vote for me, won't you?