"Things You'd Love to Say at Work, but Can't!" joke

1. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

2. Do I look like a people person?

3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

5. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

6. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

7. You!... Off my planet!

8. Does your train of thought have a caboose?

9. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

10. A PBS mind in an MTV world.

11. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

12. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

13. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

14. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

15. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

16. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

17. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

18. Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?

19. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

20. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

21. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

22. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

23. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.