"Things You'll Never Hear On A Musician's Tour Bus..." joke

Shouldn't we go back for the drummer?
Oh no you don't! It's my turn to clean the bathroom.
Checkmate!
Go roll' em down the aisle all you want. They're only cymbals.
So, I just walked her home, kissed her goodnight, and came back to the bus.
No, the monitor mix was perfect. I just screwed up.
Twenty percent? Our manager should get at least 30 percent!!
Why is there porno in the VCR?
Can you believe all the money we're getting?
Boy, I can't wait till we get to Omaha!
No thanks, I don't want another beer.
Ladies, I need to see some proof of age please.