"Thoughts On Cats - All Sublime" joke

"Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff"-Unknown
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats."-Dave Platt
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."-Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."-Anonymous
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."-Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats."-English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."-Ellen Perry Berkeley
"One cat just leads to another."-Ernest Hemingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later."-Mary Bly
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."- Joseph Wood Krutch
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life."- Faith Resnick
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."-Anonymous
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."-Hippolyte Taine
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."-Albert Schweitzer
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."-Ernest Menaul
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."-Unknown
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well."-Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats."-Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."-Joseph Wood Krutch
"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic"-Unknown
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."-Unknown
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."-Robert A. Heinlein