"Three Dogs" joke
There were three dogs at the vet talking to each other when one says,"I chewed up all my masters shoes, and that's why I'm here".
The next dog said,"I peed on my masters $1, 000 rug".
The next dog then comes in and say's,"My master is a female and she likes to clean house in the nude, so when she bent over to pick up something, I went for the ride of a life time!".
"And that's why you're here?" asked the other dogs. "No, I'm getting my nails clipped."
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