"Tooth Fairy's Form Letter" joke

Dear: Thank you for leaving [01] tooth under your pillow last night. While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:( ) the tooth could not be found( ) it was not a human tooth( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy forappropriate action( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth fairy( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received( ) the tooth is still in your mouth( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our visit( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:[ ] string[ ] pliers[ ] gunpowder[ ] hammer marks[ ] chisel[ ] part of skull attached to tooth[ ] no dental care( ) other: Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the followingcertificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near you. Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future. Sincerely, The Tooth Fairy

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