"Top 10 - Relationships" joke

Top Ten Signs His Relationship Is On The Rocks

10. Her term of affection for him is "You Bastard."

9. She shaves his eyebrows off while he's asleep.

8. She rushes to answer the phone each time it rings, and puts it down with a hushed, "I can't talk now... I'll call you later."

7. His picture on her wall has darts in it.

6. She reads books like "Women are From Venus, Men Are Complete Assholes."

5. She falls asleep during sex. The oral kind. While she's giving it.

4. When he calls her, she answers his voice with, "Oh. It's only you."

3. She cancels his date because she has to clean out the septic tank.

2. She makes inquiries about going on the Witness Protection Program.

And the Number One Sign His Relationship Is On The Rocks...

1. Her cat pees on him. And receives a reward.