"Top 10 reasons I should've stayed single" joke

Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment.
I wouldnt have to explain why I'm wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants.
I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well please.
I could actually tell the bartender, "If anyone calls, I'm here".
I'd be painting the town instead of the house.
I could show my girlfriend where I live.
I'd be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.
The only weeds I'd be concerned with are the ones I'm rolling.
I would have saved $372,416.21 in groceries by now.
I wouldnt catch so much grief about those skid-marks in my underwear!

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