"Top Reasons To Like Hanukkah More Than Christmas" joke

~ No roof damage from reindeer.
~ Never a silent night when you're among your Jewish loved ones.
~ If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days
to correct it.
~ Betting Hanukkah gelt (the chocolate coins) on candle races.
~ You can use your fireplace.
~ Naked spin-the-dreidel games.
~ Fun waxy buildup on the menorah.
~ No awkward explanations of virgin birth.
~ Cheer optional.
~ No Irving Berlin songs.
~ There's no "Donny & Marie Chanukah Special."
~ Eight days of presents (in theory, anyway).
~ No need to clean the chimney.
~ There's no latke-nog.
~ Burl Ives doesn't sing Chanukah songs.
~ You won't be pressured to buy Chanukah Seals.
~ You won't see, "You're a Putz, Charlie Brown."
~ No barking dog version of "I had a Little Driedl."
~ No pine needles to vacuum up afterwards.
~ Blintzes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.