"Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor" joke

10. He phones you in the wee hours of the morning 'just to talk'.
9. He keeps referring to himself as 'the defendant'.
8. He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as 'drumsticks'.
7. He insists Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island.
6. Prior to surgery, he asks if you want this 'to go'.
5. He introduces you to his anesthesiologist, 'Doctor Jim Beam'.
4. He wears oven mitts instead of rubber surgical gloves.
3. He tries to color your x-rays with crayons.
2. His examining room is Room 205 at the No-Tell Motel.
1. He examines you and then says, "Now do me!"

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