Referring Jokes

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
Chuck Norris' favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds", he was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were more...

- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk."
- Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts.
- He keeps accidentally referring to himself as "the defendant."
- He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island.
- He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as "drumsticks."
- His examination room is Room 201 at the No-Tell Motel.
- He introduces you to his anesthesiologist, "Doctor Jim Beam."
- Before surgery, he asks if you want this "to go."
- He tries to color your X-rays with crayons.

- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk."- Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts.- He keeps accidentally referring to himself as "the defendant."- He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island.- He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as "drumsticks."- His examination room is Room 201 at the No-Tell Motel.- He introduces you to his anesthesiologist, "Doctor Jim Beam."- Before surgery, he asks if you want this "to go."- He tries to color your X-rays with crayons.

10. He phones you in the wee hours of the morning 'just to talk'.
9. He keeps referring to himself as 'the defendant'.
8. He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as 'drumsticks'.
7. He insists Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island.
6. Prior to surgery, he asks if you want this 'to go'.
5. He introduces you to his anesthesiologist, 'Doctor Jim Beam'.
4. He wears oven mitts instead of rubber surgical gloves.
3. He tries to color your x-rays with crayons.
2. His examining room is Room 205 at the No-Tell Motel.
1. He examines you and then says, "Now do me!"

"We`ve tripled the amount of money - I believe it`s from $50 million up to $195 million available." -George W. Bush, Lima, Peru, March 23, 2002
"We`ve got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat - I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we`re trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit." -George W. Bush, O`Fallon, Mo., Mar. 18, 2002
"I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region." -George W. Bush, Washington, D. C., March 13, 2002
"There`s nothing more deep than recognizing Israel`s right to exist. That`s the most deep thought of all.. .. I can`t think of anything more deep than that right." -George W. Bush, Washington, D. C., March 13, 2002
"He [Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi] said I want to more...