"Translating Menspeak" joke

When He Says - He Really Means
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Do you have the time? - to go to bedHello - Let's cut the talk and go have sex.How are you? - in bed, I mean.I'd like a discreet relationship. - I want sex, but I'm married.I'll be out of town for a few days. - I'll be spending time with with the wife.I'm a novelist. - I have 10 unpublished books.I'm coming off a long relationship. - My wife is divorcing me.I'm consulting. - I'm looking for a job.I'm divorced. - I just slipped off my wedding ring.I'm in television. - I fix them.I'm involved in banking. - I'm a bank guard.I'm self-employed. - I just got fired.I'm sorry I flirted with your sister. - I'm sorry I got caught.I'm thinking of relocating. - I can't find a job locally in this town.I can't leave my wife just yet..soon. - Be patient forever.I enjoy reading. - Playboy and Penthouse.I have the Midas touch. - I install mufflers.I like a woman who is intelligent. - As long as she acts like I'm smarter.I love opera. - I want sex, but I've seen an opera once.I play the market. - SafewayI work high up in an executive office. - I'm a window washer.I work with computers. - I'm a cashier at a gas station.Looking for a satisfying relationship. - I want sex.My business is really hot right now! - I hand out towels in a steam room.My job keeps me running. - I'm a messenger.My wife and I are separated. - She's at home and I'm here at the bar.

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