Opera Jokes

How are opera singers and sailors alike?
They both have to handle the high seas(Cs)!

Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman? A: Stage makeup. Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him. Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche? A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche. Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale. A: She was known as the deep C diva. Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape? A: The baritone. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor? A: About 10 pounds. Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice. Ever hear the one about the tenor who was so off-key that even the other tenors could tell? Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb? A: more...

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back,
and instead of bleeding, he sings.

Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
A: He can`t find the key and doesn`t know when to come in.

Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman?
A: Stage makeup.

Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche.

Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.
A: She was known as the deep C diva.

Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape?
A: The baritone.

Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?
A: About 10 pounds.

Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?
A: When the other tenors notice.

Ever hear the one more...

There were three Chinese men that came to Australia. One went to a footy game and learnt the phrase "ohh yeah!". The other goes to a bakery and learns "Knife and Fork". The third man went to an Opera and learns "mee mee mee mee meeso". One day all three men arrive at a crime scene. The cop turns around and asks who did this. The guy who went to the Opera said "mee mee mee mee mee mee". The cop says what weapon did u use and the other guy said "Knife and Fork" and the cop says your going to jail for murder and the other guy says "ohh yeah"!