Soprano Jokes

Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman? A: Stage makeup. Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him. Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche? A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche. Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale. A: She was known as the deep C diva. Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape? A: The baritone. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor? A: About 10 pounds. Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice. Ever hear the one about the tenor who was so off-key that even the other tenors could tell? Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb? A: more...

Arriving at Heaven A soprano died and went to Heaven. St. Peter stopped her at the gate asking, "Well, how many false notes did you sing in your life?" The soprano answers, "Three." "Three times, fellows!" says Pete, and along comes an angel and sticks the soprano three times with a needle." Ow" What was that for?" asks the soprano. Pete explains, "Here in heaven, we stick you once for each false note you've sung down on Earth." "Oh," says the soprano, and is just about to step through the gates when she suddenly hears a horrible screaming from behind a door. "Oh my goodness, what is that?" asks the soprano, horrified." Oh," says Pete, "that's a tenor we got some time back. He's just about to start his third week in the sewing machine."

A soprano died and went to Heaven. St. Peter stopped her at the gate asking, "Well, how many false notes did you sing in your life?"
The soprano answers, "Three."
"Three times, fellows!" says Pete, and along comes an angel and sticks the soprano three times with a needle.
"Ow! What was that for?" asks the soprano.
Pete explains, "Here in heaven, we stick you once for each false note you`ve sung down on Earth."
"Oh," says the soprano, and is just about to step through the gates when she suddenly hears a horrible screaming from behind a door. "Oh my goodness, what is that?" asks the soprano, horrified.
"Oh," says Pete, "that`s a tenor we got some time back. He`s just about to start his third week in the sewing machine."

How do you put a twinkle in a soprano's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

How can you tell when a soprano is at your door?
She can't find the key, and doesn't know when to come in.