Soap Jokes

What to Do With All Those "Free" Soaps When Travelling This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the more...

One day a kid asks his mom if he can take a shower with her. She says, "Sure son, but don't look up and don't look down."
So they're taking a shower and the kid reaches up for the soap and he says, "Woo mama! What are those?"
She says, "Those are my headlights." The kid says "Ahh."
Then he drops the soap and bends down to get it and he says, "Woo mama! What is that?" and she replies back with, "That is my garage." The kid says "Ahh."
The next day he asks his dad if he can take a shower with him. The kid does. As he's scrubbing himself with the soap, he drops it. When he picks it up he says, "Woo daddy! What is that?" The father replies back, "That's my limousine."
That night he asks his parents if he could sleep with them and they say, "Sure, just don't look under the covers."
Then in the middle of the night he decides to take a peek. And he says "Wooo mama! more...

An Israeli soap powder company is using the U.S. presidential sex scandal to sell stain-removing detergent.

In a television commercial, the Lever Israel company suggests that its Biomat detergent can deal with even the most stubborn stains caused by what has euphemistically been called DNA material.

It shows' 'FBI agents'' entering the' 'home'' of Monica Lewinsky to remove, wash and return the dress at the center of an investigation into whether President Bill Clinton had an affair with the former White House intern and told her to lie about it.

For what the company called legal reasons, the spelling of Lewinsky's name on a mailbox outside the house was Monika Lavinsky.

But the two agents slip up in their apparent mission to protect the president.

On leaving the house, they report by wrist radio the dress is now' 'whiter then white'' -- only to be told by a voice in their earpieces:' 'White? But it's a blue dress.''

The more...

A young lad is caught stealing soap from the local soap factory. When the case comes to court the judge decides to make an example of him to discourage other youths from a life of crime.
Judge: "Well, what have you to say in your defense?"
Boy: "Only that I'm sorry your honor."
Judge: "Hrmph. I sentence you to 10 years hard labor, starting immediately."
Boy: "But sir, it was only a few bars of cheap soap!"
Judge: "Consider yourself lucky! - It could have been life boy."

A minister was asked to dinner by one of his flock who had a reputation for being a crummy housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. She replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them". He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and shouted, "Here Soap! Here Water!"