"Translations for men" joke

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...

"IT`S A GUY THING"

Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

Translated:* "Why isn`t it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"

Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It`s a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"

Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU`RE WORKING TOO HARD."

Translated:* "I can`t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT`S INTERESTING, DEAR."

Translated:* "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Translated:* "I remember the theme song to `F Troop,` the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car

I`ve ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON`T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT`S NO BIG DEAL."

Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I`m hurt."

"HEY, I`VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I`M DOING."

Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN`T FIND IT."

Translated:* "It didn`t fall into my outstretched hands, so I`m completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"

"I`M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."

Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."

Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."