"Troublemaker" joke
One day the school troublemaker was sent to the principal's office.
"Do you know why you're here?" asked the principal.
"Is it about this morning?" asked the troublemaker.
"Your teacher says you ran in the hall, beat up two students, started a food fight in the cafeteria, and cursed at one of your classmates."
"Boy, that's a relief," sighed the troublemaker. "I thought maybe you found out I broke your windshield."
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...