"True Newspaper Clippings" joke
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB - $850/offer AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED. SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE. 83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK - $2000 STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT - $15 FREE PUPPIES: COCKER SPANIEL - SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG. SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE. FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME. FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50 NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED CALL CHUBBIE BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS" SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD. HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!" GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 BOTTLES OF BEER. HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb. NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE SLIGHTLY STAINED FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT. AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100 TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR. NOTICE: TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE: PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD. EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175. OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER. JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300. LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY. ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb. GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL. BAR S SLICED BOLOGNA REGULAR OR TASTY SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2 OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.
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