"Twas The Night Before Christmas, And We, Being Jews" joke

Twas the night before Christmas, and we, being Jews, My
girlfriend and me-we had nothing to do. The Gentiles were
home, hanging stockings with care, Secure in their knowledge
St. Nick would be there. But for us, once the Hanukkah
candles burned down, There was nothing but boredom all over town.

The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight; There
weren't any concerts to got to that night. A dance would have
saved us, some ballroom or swing, But we searched through the
papers; there wasn't a thing.

Outside the window sat two feet of snow; With the
wind-chill, they said it was fifteen below. And while all I
could do was sit there and brood, My girl saved the night and
called out "CHINESE FOOD!"

So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots To
cover out heads, our hands, and our foots. We pulled on our
jackets, all puffy with down. And boarded "The T," bound for
old Chinatown.

In search of a restaurant "Which one? Lets decide!" We
chose "Hunan Chozer," and ventured inside. Around us sat
other Jews, their platters piled high With the finest of
foods their money could buy

There was roast duck and fried fake squid, (sweet, sour and
spiced,) Dried kosher beef and mixed veggies, lo mein and
fried rice, Whole fish and moo shi and "shrimp" chow mee
foon, And General Gaus chicken and ma po tofu....

When at last we decided, and the waiter did call, We said
"Skip the menu!" and ordered it all. And when in due time the
food was all made, It came to the table in a sort of parade.

Before us sat dim sum, spare ribs and egg rolls, And four
different soups, in four great, huge bowls. The courses kept
coming, from spicy to mild, And higher and higher toward the
ceiling were piled.

So much piled up, one dish after the other, My girlfriend
and I couldn't see one another! Now we sat there, we two,
without proper utensils, While they handed us something that
looked like two pencils.

We ate till we couldn't and drank down our teas And barely
had room for our fortune cookies. But my fortune was perfect;
it summed up the mood When it said "Even if it was kosher,
it was still Chinese food!." And my girlfriend-well. .. she
got a real winner; Hers said "Your companion will pay for
the dinner."

Our bellies were full and at last it was time To travel back
home and write some bad rhyme Of our Chinatown trek (and to
privately speak About trying to refine our chopstick
technique).

The MSG spun round and round in our heads, As we tripped and
we laughed and gaily we said, As we carried our leftovers
home through the night; "Good Yom Tov to all-and to all a
Good Night!"