"Twas The Night Before Christmas Online" joke

T'was the night before Christmas
I just couldn't sleep.
So I hopped out of bed
and downstairs I did creep.

I went to the kitchen
in search of a bite.
If I filled up my stomach,
perhaps I'd sleep tight.

The cupboard was empty
the fridge, it was bare.
I searched but I couldn't
find food anywhere.

I looked out the window:
Streets covered with snow;
at two in the morning
just where could I go?

I spied my computer,
I just go bootup that.
I'll take me online
for some Christmas Eve chat.

The modem connected
without a delay!
In the blink of an eye,
I'd be chatting away.

But-----no voice bid me "Welcome"
or said: "You've got mail."
And I thought now's a bad time
for my sound card to fail.

My buddy list opened
with not even one name.
Is everyone sleeping?
Well, I'll go play a game.

I couldn't get into
Out Of Order or Slingo.
Strike A Match wouldn't work--and
neither did Bingo!!!!!!

The chat rooms were empty!
I thought: Wow--that's just great?
AOL picked a fine time
for another update.

IM's weren't working.
My mail wouldn't send.
I felt so alone.
Couldn't find just one friend.

But wait! What's that sound?
Did I just hear a chime?
There's someone else out there.
Somebody's on-line!

In wonder---I read:
"Hey---it's 3: 53.
Your friends are all sleeping;
that's where you should be".

"Turn off that' puter.
Take your hand off that mouse.
I have a few things
to drop off at your house".

"You know I can't stop there
while you're still awake.
I have schedules to keep.
Come on----Give Me A Break!"

If you really are Santa
(that jolly, old elf)
there's only one present
I'd wish for myself.

The folks on my buddy list.
Those friends far and near.
You just gather them up
and bring them right here.

In just a few hours
I awoke with a start.
It was only a dream--I sighed
heavy of heart.

I walked down the stairs
and there' round my tree,
were all of the people
I thought I'd never see.

We laughed and we {{{{{hugged}}}}}
and we just had a ball.
Hmmmmmm--maybe that wasn't
a dream after all.

So listen up people
this secret I'll tell:
I've found the real Santa---
---he's on A O L!!!!