"'Twas The Night Before Christmas, And Santa's Pissed" joke

Twas the night before Christmas
old Santa was pissed,
He cussd out the elves
and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats,
Ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind,
To scrap the whole works.

I've busted my ass
for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" what do I hear..

The old lady bitches
cause I work late at night
the elves want more money
And the reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk
and goosed all the maids.
Donner is Pregnant
Vixon has AIDS

And just when I thought
That things would get better,
The IRS,
They sent me a letter.

They say I owe taxes,
If that aint damn funny..
Who the hell ever
Sent Santa any money?

And the kids these days,
They all are the pits.
They want the impossible,
Those mean little shits.

I spent a whole year
Making wagons and sleds
with no request for them
They want computers and Robots,
They think I am IBM

If you think that is bad
Picture this..
Try holding those brats
with their pants full of piss.

They pull on my nose,
They grab at my beard
And if I don't smile,
The parents think I'm weird

Flying through the air,
Dodging the trees.
Falling down chimneys
And skinning my knees.

I quit this job,
There is just no enjoyment
I'm going to sit on my fat ass
And collect unemployment

There is NO Christmas this year
Now you know the reason
I found me a blonde
and heading SOUTH for the season....